Ever wish you could post a sign on your wall that tells people exactly how to react in your house? A while back, a young couple asked that I find a way to tell guests entering their bedroom that all noise should be kept to a minimum.
Appropriately, I found a vintage sign that in no uncertain terms lets people know: QUIET PLEASE! DO NOT DISTURB THE RESIDENTS!
Truth be told, our design speak volumes about how we live. Written words may not be actually displayed, but because our decor evokes reactions in others, it’s a form of communication whether we like it or not.
Now for the record, I do NOT believe how you live is who you are. MEANING: If your house is a mess, you are not a mess. Equally so, just ‘cuz your house is fabulous, doesn’t mean you are fabulous. I’ve met a lot of amazing people living in dumps and a lot of not-so-amazing people living quite stylishly. So if for a second you believe how you live is who you are, I invite you to check out Chapter 3 of my book Take the U Out of Clutter.
But for the sake of this conversation, if and when someone comes over to your house, consider for a moment how would you like them to react about your place. This is not a reaction about you, but again, about your place.
For example, ‘that place was so colorful’ or ‘ ‘that place was so comfortable’ or ‘that place was such a surprise’. Taking a moment to answer this question can be very useful when decorating your space as it creates an intention and a blueprint for the design. Remember, it’s not about what a specific person would say (that’s irrelevant). It’s what you would like someone to say. You’re putting the words in their mouth. BTW… there’s no right or wrong answer.
‘That place was so… what?’ Do you have your answer?
If so, ask yourself, does the answer you gave sync up with how you see your space today? If it does, congratulations! It would appear that the design intention behind your space is being fulfilled. If it doesn’t, congratulations as well! You are one step closer to living in a space that honors what’s important to you based on your true intentions.
I would love to know your answer to the question below.
Until next time…
My mom and I did not have a close relationship, but she could create the most amazingly comfortable, warm and inviting home I’ve ever been in. She’s passed on so I have no way of asking her the secret and I’ve struggled for years to find it! 126 days ago
I LOVE that painting/serigraph of the two bottles and saguaro cactus next to the bed. You find fantastic objets d’art. As far as what I’d like for people to say when they walk into my house? I’d settle for “wow, your house is so….CLEAN!!!!”
I’m still working on that. 126 days ago
THANK YOU, Mark, for saying that how you live is not who you are. I have a lot of trouble keeping my place neat — I can give you excuses that it’s tiny (which it is) and I have two kids (which I do) but really, sometimes I just don’t do what I need to do. It’s a daily struggle for me and there are many times that I have felt judged by others (including my family), and those judgments really effect how I feel about myself. Thank you for reminding me that my house is not me. I am DEFINITELY going to get your book!!
126 days ago
Mary we are sooo on the same page so you are definitely not alone! 126 days ago
I love your work Mark! The biggest reason I watched Clean House was to see what amazing designs you came up with!
Hope to see more of you on tv again. Love your book! 126 days ago
I need that sign in my home Mark…. need a serene environment. 126 days ago
Hi Mark,
Like Mary I have the same situation, and no matter how hard I try there are some days, I just can’t get it all in. I also want to thank you for the comment about the way we live is not who we are and I judge myself constantly for not having everything in its place. I have my good days then I have my bad days, and it’s very hard trying to find that balance to where I wouldn’t mind a “pop up” visit. You are such a blessing to so many people and I can’t wait to read your book. 126 days ago
I have actually had people tell me that my house is comfortable….I like people to feel as though they could take off their shoes and flop on the couch…my house is usually messy/cluttered, but I would not want to be like the rest of the folks in my neighborhood that make people take off their shoes before entering their dwelling. I’m an avid coffee drinker too, so my house always smells like fresh brewed coffee (usually hazelnut). I have four kids so our place is tough to keep up with, but from the moment I was expecting my first child, I knew that spending time with my children was more important than keeping the house spotless (clean yes,spotless no). But, I still feel as though a messy house will ALWAYS be a reflection on me, not the rest of the members of my family…no one ever thinks ill of a husband or kids if a house is messy- they judge the wife!
*sigh 126 days ago
I need a sign that tells guests not to threaten my life or the life of my child. The sign needs to say that I will retaliate. I just came from court. I asked for a restraining order against a respite worker (babysitting for adult disabled) who threatened to kill us. The court denied our request saying the comments are just words uttered in the heat of the moment. I’m guessing if I went to the judge’s house and threatened him, I would be arrested within 10 minutes and be in jail faster than Lindsay Lohan.. Nice to know your dinner guests can threaten your life if they don’t like the meal your serving or at what weight you tip the scales without any repercussions. My friends have recommended that I walk around with a video camera velcroed to my hat so all comments and tone are recorded for future proof. What a day, what an education. 126 days ago
Hey there Linda,
I love the sound of your house. If it is clean enough to be healthy, but messy enough to feel loved, then…hallelujah. Besides, it is a great way of screening people. If people are going to judge you for not being absolutely spotless, then maybe you don’t want those judgmental people in your life! 126 days ago
I love the way you congratulated us either way! That’s so you! 126 days ago
Hi Mark,
Words can be the best decor of your home. The word, Welcome, for example on your front mat. I think that says a lot about the hospitality of the occupants inside. They want to greet you as you step into their front door! 125 days ago
We moved into our house last August. Almost everyone says that it feels good here, that the energy is good, and that you can tell people have been happy here.
I want people to still say those things 10, 20 years from now. 108 days ago
We bought a beautiful house nearly four years ago, and every room was stark (not warm) white, with cream colored carpets and off-white tile throughout the house. Today…Nothing has changed!! We are a fun-loving family of 7, but our house is not warm and inviting, like I’d like it to be! The rooms are pretty big with some high ceilings, so we’re afraid to paint. Help!! 46 days ago