If I hear one more person say they don’t want to have me over for dinner for fear I’ll judge them, I got news for you. I’m ALREADY judging you for not inviting me over for dinner.
Nowadays, I’m finding that more and more people are suffering from what is called C.H.A.O.S. or Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome. It’s an irrational fear that if a friend or neighbor walks in your front door and sees anything out of place, or better yet, a disjointed color palette, that they will judge or admonish you. It’s so Desperate Housewives!
Eddie and I have this plaque on our house that says ‘The most beautiful decorations in this house are the people who visit it’. It was given to us by Eddie’s parents who bought it in Jalisco, Mexico; where they were born.
When it comes to enjoying a great meal my friends, the only palate I’m genuinely interested in is the one accompanying my taste; as in what I eat not see. And since I preach that design like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, if you love something (i.e., orange shag carpet or a large collection of porcelain bunny figurines), then I love you for loving it.
And despite my borderline highbrow television persona, I promise not to roll my eyes when I walk into your place. Now I might rearrange a few of the bunnies, but that I can’t control.
Point is people are more important than things. Don’t let C.H.A.O.S. keep your friends away. If we wait around for everything to be perfect in our homes, we may miss the perfection in our relationships.
If you suffer from C.H.A.O.S., the first step in overcoming it is acknowledging it. The second is inviting me over for dinner.
Until next time…
P.S. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO ATTACH A PICTURE TO YOUR NAME ON THE BLOG POSTS, GO TO WWW.GRAVATAR.COM AND CLICK ON GET YOUR GRAVATAR TODAY!
Love the translation of the placque – Is there anywhere that this placque can be purchased online or via snail mail? 234 days ago
We are looking into this. Will keep you posted. MB 233 days ago
Turns out is was purchased at a local stand outside Guadalajara. I wish I could be more helpful. 230 days ago
Your opening statement made me thing of when last year I moved to Midland Texas from Houston. My sister who lives in Rosewell New Mexico was over to help me unpack. I place my trash can infront of my dogs water bowl that way when I walked by I would walk around instead of into the water bowl. My sister wanted to move the trash can because “People will be able to see it when they come over” Well I did not know anyone so people were not coming over. Im with you dont get me started…….love your plate
Signed
Lilly Cantu from Houston Texas…for when the people come over 234 days ago
Thankyou Mark for this beautiful post; so needed for many of us who live in shame about our living environments. I don’t only acknowledge this,but I am fiercly working on getting rid of the clutter. 233 days ago
I have been in the C.H.A.O.S Syndrome for years! Sharing a townhouse with one depressive roommate and another that was a hoarder meant that I didn’t bring anyone home.
I move into my own place October 24th. And, you can visit any time should you be in the DC area.
The furnishings might be sparse — but the company … simply fabulous!
Sharon 233 days ago
Great point Mark. I love to entertain in my space. I have some friends that I wonder what they think when they come to my modest abode, but it never keeps them from coming, so I keep on inviting them back. We have to be proud of what we have and not what we don’t! 233 days ago
So true. Happy to say I do not suffer from CHAOS (at least in my living room!). Love the plaque! You and Eddie are invited to dinner anytime. 233 days ago
Thanks Mark for you article. I suffer big time from C.H.A.O.S. Not so much because the house is a mess which it is, but because I just don’t like people! Been hurt to much. 233 days ago
I tell my friends who say “don’t mind the mess” that I came to visit them, not their house and I can always find something to admire in their home. I hope that when my friends visit me, they feel the same way. I love having people over. Please feel free to visit whenever you are in my neighborhood!! 233 days ago
I’d love to have you over, Chaos or not! 233 days ago
I don’t know that I suffer from C.H.A.O.S. so much as from lack of entertaining space. We recently just purchased a three leaf dining room set so we could have people over to play board games. Our house is quite small and fitting 12 plus people in it at any one time is a challenge, but I live for challenge.
Mark you and Eddie are Welcome anytime for dinner. Of course, I don’t expect you get the Ventura County area too often, but if you are ever in the area give me a shout.
Thanks for the great tips and I am so loving your new blog. 233 days ago
Hey, Mark! I’m happy to take you up on that.
Just say the word next time you’re in the Cleveland area and we’ll invite you over for some dinner. It would be so fun to meet you!
PS Love the plaque. 233 days ago
Thanks for the pick me up Mark. I know that this IS true. It’s just that I have always been a clean freak and since 2001 I was concidered disabled. So is my husband and 2 sons. So only the essentials get done. I used to love having people over but It’s embarrassing. My house isn’t too cluttered, it just needs a good dusting and really good cleaning. I hire someone every now and then but my husband just retired so we are scrimping. He worked for Lokcheed Martin for over 33 years and was just laid off so had to take an early retirement. IF SOMEONE just pops in I panic. sorry to be babbling on. Being from the New Orleans area we love to party and always eating. I just need to put my feelings aside and just do it. I’d LOVE for you to come for a bar-b-que. With Eddie of course. love ya. 233 days ago
This is so beautiful it brought a tear to my eye. And, if you are ever in Shirley, Massachusetts I’d love to have you over for dinner…I just hope someone else in the family will load the dishwasher and sweep the floor when we’re done!
233 days ago
Mark you are welcomed anytime to my house in Durham NC down the road from ECU! 233 days ago
Thank you for all of these amazing responses. It’s so great to know we are all cut from the same cloth. 233 days ago
No CHAOS here! Come on over any time — bring Eddie! I’d love to find out about purchasing the plaque, our dining room is sort of our own homage to Mexico and I need art! 233 days ago
Thank you Mark! I will be sure to show this to my husband. He is one of those, house MUST be presentable at ALL times. My philosophy is that a house should be lived in,therefore making it a home. (if you have your home as a “show piece” then your home should be a museum, no touching!) If someone comes over that I am expecting, sure I will pick up however if you show up unexpected, you kind of get what you get. My life is chaotic sometimes (who’s isn’t), so my home is kind of a mirror image of my life.
If you are in the Sacramento area, please let me know, I would LOVE to have you for dinner. I have a feeling we would become very good friends~Mi Casa, Su Casa. 233 days ago
…..and this is why we LOVE Mark so much. (and Eddie too)
I’m going to take some time out to “perfect” some of my relationships.
~Stay Beautiful Within, Erica~ 233 days ago
Mark, I would love to have you and Eddie over for dinner! But I would also like to add if your friends are the kind to judge you need new friends not new wall colors. Pop me a line if you’re ever in Sewickley PA and our doors will be open! Love following your blog keep it up! 233 days ago
“If you love something…then I love you for loving it.” What a sweet statement!!! Thanks for continuing to touch so many lives through your blog!!! 232 days ago
I had no idea you were also a talented writer. I am glad I discovered your blog! I was missing out. Great little term CHAOS. The only thing that stops me from doing a dinner is having food allergies and worrying about if I can make something everyone can eat and that is tasty. But even that I can get over… usually. You are right – it’s the people that are important! 232 days ago